I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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