dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
