just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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