he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
