I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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