I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
