Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just gift wrapped bread.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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