Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
All I want is dick and wine.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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