i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
