Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
