I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
