I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
