The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
