Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
