another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
