So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
