brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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