You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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