I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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