she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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