her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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