I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
