I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
