its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
