Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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