I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
