i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
