also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
