I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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