So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
