Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
