walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
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