just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
