I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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