well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
