Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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