Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
