I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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