I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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