she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I love having hate sex.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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