My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
