you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
