Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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