weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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