So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
