I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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