the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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