dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
