I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
How's work?
Spinning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
