There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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