Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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