He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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